intro parts work exercise

(If you haven’t already read them in the previous submodule, revisit the core assumption of parts work.)

If at any point you find yourself beginning to feel overwhelmed, reach out to the coaches or visit the grounding exercises.

The practice

  1. You’ve got a situation in which you’re noticing some dissonance: frustration, heaviness, etc.
  2. Notice the feelings as sensations in the body
    • Notice the qualities of those sensations (temp, color, texture, etc).
  3. Invite that sensation into a form in front of you or around you.
    • What’s it like? Shape, size? What’s its body language like, the expression on its face, the look in its eyes?
  4. Check in with how you’re feeling towards that part of you.
    • If you’re feeling curious, calm, compassionate: move on to step 6.
    • If you’re feeling impatient, frustrated, ashamed, etc towards it: go back through steps 2, 3, 4 on those feelings.
    • Get to know them, until you get to a place from which you feel curious, calm, compassionate toward the active part, such as a feeling of impatience or frustration.
  5. Check back in with the situation from step 1. Which part / sensation feels most vivid and alive right now, in relation to the situation?
  6. Ask the part: What do you want? 
    • (This is the part’s strategy, and it might be an impulse that not all of you endorses – for example, “I want to smack that guy in the face!”)
    • Notice what answer you get.
  7. Ask the part: What do you need?
    • (alt: What does that get you? Is there anything even deeper or more important, that you get through [smacking that guy in the face]?)
    • (see eg this list of needs for examples – it might be something like, “to be heard, and seen”)
    • Notice what answer you get.
  8. Ask the part: How will you feel when you get what you need?
    • (eg, comfortable & relaxed; alive & warm)
    • Notice what answer you get.
  9. Lean into that feeling, letting it be as big as it wants, as a sensation in the body.
    • If you’re having trouble with that, you can go back through steps 6, 7, 8 and go down through layers of strategies and intended outcomes and feelings, until you get to a feeling that you can really lean into.
    • (If there’s a block to letting yourself lean into the feeling, you can also treat that objection as a part and go back up to step 2, and go from there)
  10. Notice any shifts or changes
    • in the appearance of the part, in what it wants, in its relationship to you or other parts.
    • [Different parts work modalities take things in slightly different directions from here]
  11. Check back in with the initial situation from step 1.
    • How’re you feeling about it? Any other parts wanting attention? Has any space opened up? Any new clarity on how you want to approach it, and what’s making sense from here?

This practice is adapted from the initial steps of parts work modalities such as:

You can do the core of this practice anywhere, for example in bed or on a walk:

  • Identifying: situation, feeling, body sensations, form
  • Asking: What do you want, what do you need, how will you feel when you get what you need?

If you run into many layers of self-judgments or objecting parts, paper or digital notes are useful.

If you notice a lot of intense emotions coming up, it’s definitely helpful to go through parts work processes while accompanied by someone else – a therapist, counselor, coach, etc – at least at first. They can help do mediation among parts & care for parts that are holding a lot of pain.